• Lady J


Updated: Jun 16, 2020

Please welcome my Guest Blogger, Giovonni H, I asked her to share her experience with sexual abuse through series of questions this week with you. I think it's best to hear from someone who has gone through the same thing you did so that you know that you are not alone. I also believe that they can give you advice from a perspective that you can relate to. I truly hope that her words help heal, uplift and empower you!

1. Define what type of abuse you experienced?

Molestation is the act of subjecting someone to unwanted or improper sexual advances. Rape is sexual intercourse or other penetration without the person’s consent.

2. What were some of the warning signs?

I was 5 so warning signs weren’t really something I could comprehend. At the age of 10, the only thing I remember is that he would smack me on the butt sometimes

3. Talk about your experience

The first time it happened, it was oral on his end. I didn’t understand what was going on but I knew it was wrong. They also did it to another sibling but for the sake of their protection I will not say who. We did tell our mother. Police and family were involved and he was removed from the home. We did have to go to the hospital for testing days if not weeks later and there was a court date that we did not attend- just my mother and him. He was found not guilty to the molestation. I believe (now that I’m older) it’s because we were tested days/ weeks later from when it happened to when we told our mom.

If you’re wondering how it happened again, my mother brought him back. He is my little brothers dad, so I believe it was because of that. Plus my mom worked way more than he did, so she left us with him often. She told me this year that she asked me as a child for permission to bring him back. She told me I said it was okay. I said in disbelief “ Mom... I was a child. “She said “ I know. I shouldn’t have done it.”

The next time it happened at 10 I remember like it was yesterday. My mom was gone and he put himself in me without breaking my hymen. I say it didn’t break because I lost my virginity at 14 and it definitely broke then. Because My mom allowed him to come back- I didn’t say anything about that incident until years later. My mom has definitely apologized and for my own healing journey, I started therapy at 25.

I forgave myself, my mother, and her husband. Literally in that order, and I worked on my self love and healing.

4. How you 'get out' of your situation?

My mom and him got in so many fights. He stole our car, went to jail several times, abd the police would come to our house at times. My mom finally had enough and finally got rid of him. I was about 11 or 12.

5. How did you heal or how are you healing?

I healed by forgiving and then starting my healing journey. I had to let myself know it wasn’t my fault, that I was child, and not fully protected. I had to do a lot of self care and self work, as I had a lot of anger towards my mother . I definitely hated her a few times in my life, but I forgave her. We have a better relationship now and I’m really happy that I’ve been healed from that experienced.

6. Give advice on what you learned from your experience  

I learned that we are all human. We fall but we have to get back up again. We truly do have to protect ourselves and our mental in order to heal and grow. He took many things from me at those times, but what I gained is my strength, my ability to stand up for myself and others, and my confidence is out of this world. I absolutely love who I am and who I’m becoming as my now role as a Social Worker and Certified Transformation Life Coach who helps women that are ready to start their healing journey from trauma.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story. I have become so passionate in my pursuit to help others gain the healing, peace, joy, happiness, and the clarity I have now.

If you are interested in learning more about Giovonni and what she does, please read the information below:

I am accepting clients for 1:1 life coaching and group classes. I work with Women who are ready to start their healing journey from trauma by providing 1:1 coaching, transparency, and motivation.

She is Resilience overall aims to promote mental health awareness, inspiration, motivation, and empowerment to Women. I also have inspirational merchandise and creative content!

My website is sheisresilience.com

To book a free 15 minute discovery call to see if we would be a great fit, please visit

To stay connected with me on social media follow me on:

I also have a Ebook and Workbook Combo that is perfect for the Woman who is struggling to:

  1. Forgive yourself or others

  2. Heal

  3. Hold yourself accountable

  4. Imagine your best self and show up as that

  5. Obtain peace and letting go of things that no longer serve you

Here's the link to purchase: https://payhip.com/b/zlqK


If you need help, please click the link:



Hey Brown Girls! Please support another Black Woman Content Creator. Be sure to show your support by visiting her website, buying merchandise/Ebook and following her on social media!


I now have a podcast called For My Brown Girls! Podcast, here’s the the link to listen: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/for-my-brown-girls-podcast/id1507206366

Make sure you follow #ForBrownGirlsBlog on: 

Instagram: @For_Brown_Girls_Blog

Facebook: @ForBrownGirlsBlog

Twitter: @ForBrownGirlsB1

Pinterest: ForBrownGirlsBlog19

*I am not a licensed therapist.  This post does not serve as a form of therapy or diagnosis.  If you are experiencing an emergency, please call 911 or your doctor.